Capital One: 43 Cents And The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back

Earlier in the month I published a piece regarding Capital One charging me a membership fee ($49) and how, after being a loyal customer (7 years) and receiving zero – ZERO – benefits, perks, etc I was contemplating cutting the cord.
I wish I could tell you the story ended there but it doesn’t.

Today, I logged into Mint because I received an email notification saying I was being charged a fee. Curious, I log in and see Capital One was charging me a Late Fee of $15 on a balance of .43 (that’s, cents, mind you)

Yup.

Here’s how this breaks down:

When I was charged the $49, I was also being charged a flat fee for “Payment Protection” of .43. Well, Capital One waived the membership fee, but they failed to waive the .43 (don’t get me started on how this could happen – just know that it did happen). So essentially I had a balance of .43, which no one informed me about when I had the membership fee waived. So unbeknownst to me, I had a balance of .43.

There is a small fraction of ignorance on my part as I should’ve known about this balance. I am usually very cognizant of the balances I owe (especially on the cards I use). This specific account of Capital One (and the .43 balance) slipped through the cracks – mostly because I do not use this card; it sits in my dresser, collecting dust inbetween my widowed socks (socks that no longer have a matching partner) and a TI-83 (don’t ask).

So I called Capital One this morning; furious, I had to call twice to calm myself down. At this point, my concern is my credit score (which I have worked hard to protect and get to a respectable/competitive number). After talking to three people and using expletives I haven’t used since the Military, I finally get a senior account rep:

AR: Sorry Mr. Smith for the inconvenience. But we usually don’t waive the membership fee and we only did that because you had such a long history with us –

ME [interrupting]: Stop. Stop acting like you did me a [expletive] favor. Fact of the matter is, I’ve been a customer of yours for 7 years – 7 YEARS – and ZERO activity has happened on my account (credit limit increase, APR decrease). And not only did you have the AUDACITY of charging me a membership fee like your card is some exclusive credit card, but then you charge me .43 on a balance that YOU waived. And NOW you want to charge me a late fee? You do realize that this doesn’t make sense, correct?

AR: Yes, Mr. Smith and we greatly apologize for the inconvenience. This was an accident (error) on our part -

ME [interrupting, again]: Save your speech for someone else. I’m in no [expletive] mood to hear this [expletive]. I am on the edge ready to jump and I know you can’t do anything about it to keep me as a customer. You cannot increase my limit, nor can you lower my rate, offer benefits and/or some type of reimbursement for this inconvenience. Cancel my account. Better yet, cancel my account and send me paperwork that specifically states that I cancelled this account and it has a zero balance.

AR: Yes, Sir.

ME: Will any of this (late fee, outstanding balance of .43) be on my credit report?

AR: No, Sir.

ME: It better not be. If it is, come hell or high-water, I will find a way to short your company.

I know what you’re thinking: “Will, was that language necessary?”

My answer is: “Absolutely.”

I have been patient with them. They took advantage of the customer. I highly doubt this was an “accident” as the account rep was informing me over the phone. Being charged .43 after a $49 fee is waived doesn’t sound like an accident, it sounds like ignorance. It’s hard for me to believe that someone just “failed” to waive this .43. It just seems too ridiculous to be true.

Afterwards, I felt good, refreshed. My relationship with Capital One is finally over.

When I get home, I’ll open my drawer, move my widowed socks, grab the card, cut it and then put it in my safe.

This should’ve been done a long time ago...

…as my widowed socks didn't enjoy its company either.